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When dealing with a narcissist, the only thing you can do is stand your ground. If you want this cycle to stop – and for good – you’ll want to stop supplying the narcissist with what they want. To the narcissist, the weekend is a perfect opportunity for a nice long fight with every emotion possible thrown around. Maybe the next day they’d like it if you felt guilty or worthless. Sometimes the narcissist wants you to feel sad and sorry for them. You need to acknowledge that this is an abusive situation with a person who will never understand that their behavior is wrong.Įven if you’ve known or lived with them for years, it may be that you’ve never experienced the narcissist’s true self.Įverything the narcissist says or does is a ploy to extract certain reactions and emotions from others.
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This might sound harsh – especially if you’ve built a family or close relationship with them – but it’s the only way. You can’t “take a break” and see what happens in a few weeks or months. You can’t move across the country and continue to text them. You can’t respond with understanding and kindness. The only way to completely shut down a narcissist is to cut them out of your life in every way, shape, and form. You might have read along nodding your head in agreement at everything above – but now we’re getting to the hard part. The Only Method for Dealing with a Narcissist That Actually Produces Results Whatever emotional vulnerabilities you’re carrying, evaluate them before moving forward so you can shut down a narcissist for good. Maybe you like certain qualities or have fond memories with them. But in other cases, the narcissist’s infatuation with you might be somewhat comforting – no matter how destructive it gets. In some cases, your physical home or family might be at stake. Without blaming yourself for your situation, you’ll want to do some self-reflection to figure out what you’re getting from this relationship. The parasite cannot function without its host. That said, it’s crucial to recognize that the relationship is a two-way street. (Although, the narcissist will often make you genuinely believe it is your fault and you do deserve it.) No one deserves to be manipulated, used, and abused. The narcissist’s behavior is in no way your fault. How many times has the narcissist lured you into a fight? Overreacted to minor inconveniences or transgressions? How many times have you tried to confront the narcissist about their disrespectful behavior only to end up apologizing to them? The Parasitic Relationship is a Two-way Street If you don’t give up your attention voluntarily, the narcissist will create the material conditions for it to happen. You’ve got what they need: sympathy, validation, reassurance, and even physical energy. Their substance of choice gives them a rush and satisfies them for a bit so the cycle continues as it gets worse.įor narcissists, the emotions, energy, and attention of people around them are their substances of choice. They crave a fix – whether it be drugs, alcohol, or food. Imagine someone suffering through substance abuse.
Game over dealing with bullies videos how to#
In order to understand how to shut down a narcissist, you need to understand how they experience, process, and react to emotions, energy, and everyone in their immediate environment. Dealing with a Narcissist and Their Supply – Demand Mentality Unlike many other personality disorders and mental illnesses, the narcissist leaves victims of devastating abuse in their wake.
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Everyone else is the problem.īut this isn’t a blog to help people suffering from narcissistic personality disorder – it’s to help people dealing with a narcissist. The manipulating, self-victimization, and exaggerated self-importance: they honestly believe they’re always in the right. The narcissist believes their behavior is normal. Narcissists don’t think, speak, feel, or behave the same way average people do and you shouldn’t expect them to. Narcissism isn’t just a cute reference to Greek mythology – it’s a personality disorder (narcissistic personality disorder). Why Is It So Hard to Shut down a Narcissist? Here’s how to shut down a narcissist and understand their pattern of behavior.
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As such, you cannot respond to a narcissist in the same way you might respond to other people and expect a similar outcome. Narcissists don’t process or experience emotions the way average people do and this is reflected in their abusive behavior.